Updated: Feb 25
The goal of self-love is to be able to love yourself in all moments of life.
For example, if you lose your job, don't own a home, aren't married, have credit card debt and student loans, or have extra weight on your body that doesn't need to be there, you still choose to love you.
You might be mad, upset, judgmental, or frustrated with yourself, and that's OK. I go to those places too. And that's when I know I need to do the work that these seven exercises provide.
These moments shall pass. Being in the space of self-love supports your vibration, healing, staying healthy, manifestation, and living an optimal life.
Here are seven things to do if you struggle with self-love:
1- Tap into the energy and love.
I want you to know what it feels like and have a thought that you can jump to, connecting to the power of love at any time. Think of something or someone you love. An experiential memory in your body that you can remember at any moment to get back into the experience of love. If you're struggling with self-love, you may have shut the feeling out completely.
Go to this moment so you can tap into that loving energy again. Take your time to be present and feel it.
What does it feel like in your body?
I can undoubtedly start petting my dog and immediately transport to a love-filled experience. Maybe it's an encounter that you had in your life, just close your eyes and go back to it.
Get to a space where you feel a heart expansion in your chest. Make a mental note of what this heart experience entails and how you got there.
2- Choose a symbol, a token for love.
Maybe you have a rose quartz crystal for love energy that you carry around with you in your pockets. You could also find yourself a ring, a bracelet, or a necklace that means love for you. I have a self-love tattoo, of which 4 of my friends and family now have as well.
It says, "love." Note that the period is ultimately for tapping into love energy.
If I feel frustrated or negative thoughts popping up, I pause and touch my love tattoo immediately grounding back into the energy of love. You can also do the same by grabbing your crystal or bracelet, whatever token you chose. Take that moment to grab it, feel it, and breathe in love. Use this as your secret weapon to shift your energy to a love-filled one at any time.
3- Practice some Ho'oponopono on yourself.
Ho'oponopono is a Hawaiian prayer of forgiveness and love. Many times it is used towards others, yet here we are working on ourselves.
Grab a picture of yourself to look at while saying this prayer four times in a row. Say the prayer in increments of four.
"I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you for being in my life so that I may love you."
If you still feel the struggle and like you aren't connecting to yourself, say it for more times. I've heard of people saying this 80 times throughout the day. Keep going until you feel it in your body and a heart expansion.
And, if you were excelling in this exercise, turn it up a notch and say the prayer while looking in the mirror.
4- Write yourself a love letter.
I can feel the resistance from some of you already. I ask you to tell yourself lovingly… "Self, we're taking you to new levels today, I know it is scary, please trust me you will ultimately appreciate it." I tried it on Valentine's Day and it was magical.
Self-love is a muscle that can be strengthened.
Now, back to that love letter. I'd love it if you would take this as a challenge and do every single day for 21 days, longer should you choose — many like making this a morning or evening practice. There may be an initial resistance period to breakthrough first.
Here are some other ideas for expanding the practice:
- Write to yourself as you are now
- Write to your body or various parts that need the most love from you
- Write to yourself as a toddler or a baby
Write to yourself in all forms acknowledging the inner beauty and your external beauty as well.
As you are writing, notice when those negative thoughts come up.
Immediately stop and grab your self-love token of choice closing your eyes and remembering the experience of love from step one above.
Learn to love yourself up, baby steps. You've got this, and deserve it.
Our nature as humans tend be self-destructive, coming from fear, though love it is our birthright.
Destructive habits need stopping.
5- Affirmations for self-love.
Now I can hand this to you; however, they'll be much more powerful when you come up with the affirmations yourself. I know it can be complicated, though, so I'll give you a head start.
Create affirmations about your physical and personality traits. Also, make some towards the love you have or are about to have for yourself and others. Use your love letters for ideas as well.
- I love the twinkle in my eyes.
- I love how my eyes see the truth in others.
- I love how much I care for humanity.
- I love and honor how my body holds me up regardless of my thoughts.
- I have the biggest heart.
- I am healthy, wealthy, and wise.
- I am joy.
- I honor my body mind and soul.
- I embrace all it is me.
- Just for today, I choose me first.
- I am deserving and open to all that is love.
- I am whole and complete.
- Self-love is natural for me.
- I love how big my heart is.
Keep going with these and come up with your own.
6- Create meditations for self-love.
I've created a Ho'oponopono prayer that you can use for acknowledging your body. Remember, I'll encourage you to listen to it four times in a row. Here's another heart expansion self love meditation I created.
The goal here is to create meditations for self-love, for all of you, not just your body as in my meditation prayer. You could read the love letter out loud as your voice records. You could make another self-love meditation recording as you repeat your affirmations for self-love.
Next level affirmations for self-love would be to freestyle them and see where the journey takes you.
Listen to this meditation of self-love either as you fall asleep at night or when you get up in the morning.
Sometimes, I listen as I am driving to a meeting to get into a state of confidence and love.
It's up to you to make listening to these a habit, hence why I always encourage hiring a coach such as myself or, at minimum, finding an accountability buddy that supports these simple activities.
7- Bring love throughout your body so that you may radiate love everywhere you go.
Close your eyes. Tap into that loving energy. A heart expanded force of love.
Touch your head and state, "I love my mind because..."
Touch your eyes and say, "I love my eyes because..."
Work through your body, and as you do, say, "I love you because..." filling in the blank.
The ultimate self-love test is to be able to look yourself in the mirror, feel your compassionate energy, and say, "I love you."
I know this is excruciating for money, which is why I wrote this article. We are working on external and internal love throughout this process.
Please feel free to do this journey a few more times or even make it a new daily practice.
I want you to get to the space of being able to love yourself as you are whole and complete. I want you to experience the freedom that awaits you!
If you still feel sufficiently blocked as you work through these exercises, don't hesitate to book a healing session with me to support your breakthroughs.
Wishing you the self-love of lifetimes!
// A B O U T
Bethany Londyn is certified in ThetaHealing® and is a Manifestation Alignment Catalyst Coach who works with individuals, Universities, and companies using intuition, a process that feels like meditation, life coaching, hypnosis, and prayer, all combined, to achieve miraculous results. Also, learn more about her beautiful practice to manifest miracles through her latest book, Get Aligned Now, available in digital and print.
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Wishing you the love of lifetimes!
PS: Also, if you're new to my work or haven’t already, download this FREE “Are you even aligned to your dreams worksheet”